There's naked ambition, and then there's Jane Kaczmarek's Emmy campaign. The ''Malcolm in the Middle'' mom, intent on landing her first Emmy Sept. 19(it's her fifth nomination), ran an ad in the Hollywood trades, showing what she has over fellow nominees Jennifer Aniston, Patricia Heaton, Bonnie Hunt, and Sarah Jessica Parker: She's ''the only nominee with an artificial hip.''

''What am I gonna do, put in one of those glamour-shot for-your-consideration ads?'' says Kaczmarek, 48, who had hip surgery in April. ''That's not really me. And the episode I submitted had my character in a kielbasa-eating contest! So there's not a lot of dignity in this year's campaign.'' But there is integrity: Subsequent runs of the ad acknowledge that nominee Anthony LaPaglia (''Without a Trace'') has a fake hip too. We vote for... a joint win!


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